Q: Are these true stories?
Q: Are you exaggerating?
A: Nope. I really am a hot-mess in the kitchen.
Q: How have you survived this long?
A: By avoiding the kitchen!
Q: But how did you feed yourself?
A: There are lots of nice people willing to hand you food through the window of your car!
Q: Why are you in the kitchen now?
A: I got an Instant Pot!
Q: What do you mean when you say “my stove and my oven are dead to me”?
A: I mean that they literally have not been used in years. Thus, they are dead-to-me.
- They may also actually be dead-dead. But I wouldn’t know.
Q: Why did you start a blog?
A: I was hounded into it.
Q: Who inspires your writing style?
A1: Jenny Lawson — “The Bloggess”
- Specifically See: “And that’s why you should learn to pick your battles”
A2: Jim Wright — “Stonekettle Station”
Q: I am having trouble importing your recipes into [Paprika, PlanToEat, CopyMeThat, WhateverElse]. Why aren’t you using a WordPress plugin to make this easier?
A: Because if you have to import them “the hard way” — then maybe you’ll think twice before doing it!
- Consider these recipes as parody. Try them at your own peril.
Q: What recipe manager do you use?
A: PlanToEat.com — it’s compatible across all platforms and devices, as long as those devices have a web browser, and it offers recipe management, meal planning, and shopping list planning. I’ve successfully used it via web browser on every one of the following devices: Windows 7 PC, Windows 10 PC, iPhone 4s, iPad (Gen2), Android Tablet (ZenPad), and BB10 (Passport). And, if you’re into that sort of thing, their iOS and Android mobile apps are in development.
Q: Do you put these recipes in your recipe manager?
A: Hell no! 😀
Q: Are your recipes safe to try?
A: I didn’t die. At least not right away.
- If you haven’t heard from me in awhile, all bets are off.
Q: Wait — your Disclaimers page says we might not hear from you for awhile…
Q: How do we contact you?
A: You don’t. 😀
Q: Not even to make sure you’re not dead?
A: Nope. 😀
Q: But where do we file a complaint about all the swearing, etc.?
A: Dial 1-900-WAH-WAAH
Q: I am the author of an original recipe featured here, and need to discuss something with you.
A: Please visit my Credit to Original Authors page for more details.
Q: I was banned from commenting!
A: Tough noogies.
Q: How can we follow you on social media?
A: You can’t. 🙂
Q: Why are you so mean?
A: I’m not, you’re just delicate.
Q: Is there anything else we should know?
A: My site, my rules, no mercy! 😀 Also, barf bags are in the cupboard to your right.