Q: Are these true stories?

A: Yes.


Q: Are you exaggerating?

A: Nope. I really am a hot-mess in the kitchen.


Q: How have you survived this long?

A: By avoiding the kitchen!


Q: But how did you feed yourself?

A: There are lots of nice people willing to hand you food through the window of your car!


Q: Why are you in the kitchen now?

A: I got an Instant Pot!


Q: What do you mean when you say “my stove and my oven are dead to me”?

A: I mean that they literally have not been used in years. Thus, they are dead-to-me.

  • They may also actually be dead-dead. But I wouldn’t know.


Q: Why did you start a blog?

A: I was hounded into it.


Q: Who inspires your writing style?

A1: Jenny Lawson — “The Bloggess

A2: Jim Wright — “Stonekettle Station


Q: I am having trouble importing your recipes into [Paprika, PlanToEat, CopyMeThat, WhateverElse]. Why aren’t you using a WordPress plugin to make this easier?

A: Because if you have to import them “the hard way” — then maybe you’ll think twice before doing it!

  • Consider these recipes as parody. Try them at your own peril.


Q: What recipe manager do you use?

A: PlanToEat.com — it’s compatible across all platforms and devices, as long as those devices have a web browser, and it offers recipe management, meal planning, and shopping list planning. I’ve successfully used it via web browser on every one of the following devices: Windows 7 PC, Windows 10 PC, iPhone 4s, iPad (Gen2), Android Tablet (ZenPad), and BB10 (Passport). And, if you’re into that sort of thing, their iOS and Android mobile apps are in development.


Q: Do you put these recipes in your recipe manager?

A: Hell no! 😀


Q: Are your recipes safe to try?

A: I didn’t die. At least not right away.

  • If you haven’t heard from me in awhile, all bets are off.


Q: Wait — your Disclaimers page says we might not hear from you for awhile…

A: Exactly.


Q: How do we contact you?

A: You don’t. 😀


Q: Not even to make sure you’re not dead?

A: Nope. 😀


Q: But where do we file a complaint about all the swearing, etc.?

A: Dial 1-900-WAH-WAAH


Q: I am the author of an original recipe featured here, and need to discuss something with you.

A: Please visit my Credit to Original Authors page for more details.


Q: I was banned from commenting!

A: Tough noogies.


Q: How can we follow you on social media?

A: You can’t. 🙂


Q: Why are you so mean?

A: I’m not, you’re just delicate.


Q: Is there anything else we should know?

A: My site, my rules, no mercy! 😀 Also, barf bags are in the cupboard to your right.




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