Red Thai Curry Surprise

So between Urvashi Pitre’s (of TwoSleevers.com) Indian Instant Pot cookbook from last September, and her Keto Instant Pot cookbook from last March, I sorta accidentally kinda maybe learned how to cook. Okay, more like “finally learned how to at least properly follow a recipe” — but hey, that’s huge progress!

On top of that, Dumpster Fire Cooking School has actually been going to cooking school (no, not culinary school) — and taking classes at Sur La Table. Like, Knife Skills and everything y’all! (Woo! You should see me tackle and onion now! Slicey! Slicey! Dicey! Dicey!) All of which practically accidentally negates the entire purpose of this blog, y’know, if I’m actually sorta kinda knowing what I’m doing now, then where’s the fun in that for you?

But! Fear not! I flew solo tonight for the first time, since, well, whenever I last posted here! LOL 🙂 Tonight’s adventure was an experimental combination of things that I’ve learned from the recipes in Urvashi’s Keto cookbook, and from Chef Alex last night at Sur La Table. (Shout-out to Chef Alex: Look! I learned something! 😀 )

It turned out exactly as one who has been here awhile might have predicted. But hey, I didn’t poison myself!! At least, not as far as I know. Yet.

Red Thai Curry Surprise

As in:

“Surprise! Where’d all that liquid come from?”

“Surprise! I guess we’re actually making soup!”

“Surprise! There’s one of the szechuan peppercorns you forgot to first toast and grind!”

“Surprise! The bell peppers are overcooked!”

“Surprise! That was actually freeze-dried basil you just used — not cilantro!”

“Surprise! You don’t have any freeze-dried cilantro!”

“Surprise! You also don’t have any pre-made frozen cauliflower rice!”

“Surprise! Dried cilantro totally doesn’t work as a garnish!”

Recipe:

Preheat IP on saute mode.

Carve out some chunks of coconut oil from the jar and blorp into hot IP.

Blorp in some thai red curry paste. Blorp in some more. Dodge the splatters.

Stir until it is a nicely incorporated red oil.

Add a pinch of szechuan peppercorns. Then remember you were going to toast those first before adding the oil.

Two big blorps of pre-minced garlic from a jar.

One big blorp of pre-minced ginger from a jar. Saute some more until nicely incorporated.

One large onion halved then quartered, then layers separated.

One large red bell pepper, seeded, cut into 1-inch squares.

Stir to incorporate until everything is nicely oiled.

Two generous glugs from large plastic jug of soy sauce.

Several vigorous shakes of fish sauce, plus a few more for good measure.

A few shakes of granulated sweetener (just in case the second blorp of red curry paste was a bad idea).

Several shakes of freeze-dried whoops-that’s-basil-not-cilantro.

Half a can of coconut milk. Mix well.

One pound of diced chicken breast layered on top.

Close lid; high pressure; 6 minutes; natural release 15 minutes. Marvel at how 1 cup of coconut milk has magically turned into 1.5 quarts of liquid.

Saute mode until bubbling. Add xanthan gum (or a corn starch slurry, if you’d prefer) to thicken. Stir. Add some more. Stir.

Add remaining half can of coconut milk.

Shake in some dried yes-I-double-checked-this-time cilantro. Shake in some more.

Sprinkle with salt.

Add some lengthy vigorous squirts of plastic squeezie lime.

Mix well. Call it soup.

Post-Morteum

Hey, I’m not dead yet. For a blorp-n-glug recipe, it’ll do. And I’m not predicting a need to trash the leftovers. So, yay — lunch tomorrow!

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